Letting go of a relationship that has meant everything to us is not the easiest thing to do. But whether one has to like it or not, it has to be done if we want to move on. There are things that we cannot live in the present, and one has to look ahead to the future until we achieve closure from the past.
Many of us want a lot of things in life, including material objects that can symbolize our status and success. Most people dream of owning a house and lot, having a successful career or business, and being a part of a healthy and happy family. Aside from property and recognition, people also crave the security and fulfillment of an intimate relationship. When we think that we have found a good partner, we are overjoyed and believe that life is now complete. However, when things go wrong and the relationship reaches an end, we go through varied emotions that seem to rip our soul apart. We go through anger, despair, grief, sadness, and depression. We find ourselves walking aimlessly through life uncertain of our life’s path.
But there is an even more painful experience than ending a relationship. People who physically lose their partners endure an even more painful separation. The death of a loved one brings about an incomparable level of pain. Losing people who are dear to us leaves us in grief and in confusion about how to go about the next important step: letting go.
Letting go of a relationship that has meant everything to us is not an easy thing to do. But whether we like it or not, it has to be done if we want to move on. No matter how hard we try, we cannot live in the past nor stay forever in the present. To live, we must move on and look to the future. To truly move on in life, we need to achieve closure from the past.
How do we let go and move on? Letting go of a relationship involves letting go of feelings and emotions such as anger, animosity, and resentment that one may feel towards a partner. One should not bottle up emotions because it may even lead to some health problems. Allowing oneself to grieve over the loss of a relationship may be healthy, but there should be a limit to the amount of time we spend on grieving. While it is normal to be emotionally distressed by the loss of a loved one, it is not advisable to allow one’s self to wallow in grief and sadness — a negative emotional condition that can become a self-defeating habit.
One should also envision other possibilities and not dwell on the “what-might-have-beens.” Releasing yourself from the hold of a relationship allows you to reflect on whether it was meant to be and that one should set new goals and start to build a new life. A person in grief must eventually realize that the relationship has run its course and that it is time to let go. Often, when we have been in a really good relationship for some time, we tend to lose our identity. Letting go should also mean letting go of dependency. It is something that needs to be learned to enable a person to veer away from over-dependency on others.
If one is to truly let go of a relationship, he or she must embrace the thought of being alone and put to rest all of the fear, concern, and trepidation. Ending a relationship doesn’t mean that we have to close ourselves from falling in love again. It is true that relationships may entail experiencing some episodes of sadness, but they also come with moments of great pleasure. For many of us, life would not be complete without the combination of both. Just as it takes two to tango, it also takes two to make a relationship work.
One should not dwell on the past or constantly focus on what they could have done to make the relationship work. We all have been hurt and life always gives us some valuable lessons that will provide us some guidance for our journey ahead. Once you free yourself from a relationship and come to terms with the fact that it is over, you will then experience a feeling of relief and liberation. There is a sense of accomplishment that will come out of the whole experience, making you a better person.